Iam8up Blog

Two nuns are running desperately late to meet at the food kitchen. One of them notices a shortcut through an alley way so they rush towards their destination.

Suddenly a nasty gang comes around the corner, surrounding the two nuns and rapes them.

As the two nuns recover from the situation making it to the food kitchen late, one asks the other “How are we going to explain that we were raped twice in the same day?” The other questions “What do you mean twice?”

In response, the first nun asks “We’re going back that way again, aren’t we?”

A nun, badly in need of a toilet, ventured into a pub to seek relief.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off, then the place erupted into cheers. However, when the revellers saw the nun, the place went dead silent.

Going up to bar, she asked if she use their facilities. The Landlord said, “Okay, yes, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”

“Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun, before going to the toilet.

After a few minutes, she came back out and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

Going to the landlord, she said, “Thank you, but I don’t understand why everyone applauded me for, just because I went to the toilet.”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” he replied. “Would you like a drink?”

“But I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

“You see,” he laughed, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”

You are a participant in a race. you overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer

If you overtake the last person, then you are what?

Answer

Some fun arithmetic. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Answer

Mary’s father has five daughters:
1. Nana 2. Nene 3. Nini 4. Nono 5. ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; How does he indicate what he wants?

Answer

The Internet is not a big truck. It’s a series of tubes.

A bench is not a big table. It’s a series of boards.

A newspaper is not a big newsletter. It’s a series of articles.

Mac and cheese is not a big meal. It’s a series of bites.

A date is not a life contract. It’s a series of conversations.

I have been spoiled with the Blackberry OS. You go to one command and it wipes everything. Ghetto phones (that is non iOS, Blackberry, Android, etc) seem to not want to simplify this.

Some tutorials and videos suggest the password is 0000 – I found it was 1234 on this phone.

Before sending this phone out I did three things:

*Settings -> Reset Settings (this seems to be preferences and such)
*Settings -> Memory Management -> Clear Memory (address book, downloads, pictures, ringtones, etc)
*Dial -> Clear -> All (the calls)

Remember that some GSM phones store the contacts on the SIM card!!!

Seems to have gotten everything at this point. YMMV.

2×07 – 6:02 – 40% titanium
4×07 – 4:25 – .04% nickel impurity
2×04 – 3:21 – 40% zinc
5×02 – 17:35 – 40% dolomite
4×11 – 14:19 – 30% iron
6×03 – 2:28 – 40% chromium
6×10 – 4:00 – 60% storage space
total 300.04%